“Nobody wants to talk about the abuse – the rape – that happens in the porn industry…Porn abuses people,” Rachael states boldly. She’s a musician and creator who’s recently begun sharing parts of her porn recovery story on TikTok and Instagram.
In Rachael’s success story of overcoming porn she says “it’s absolutely incredible” being porn-free for two years.
“It’s something I felt would never happen!” Like many, she first was hooked by porn in her teens.
How porn affected Rachael as a teen
“As a girl hooked on pornography, I felt alone, incredibly depressed, and ashamed,” says Rachael.
Porn use and the shame cycle on steroids
Rachael grew up in a Christian household. Deep down she knew that watching porn was harming herself and others. But her shame also multiplied because she was a pastor’s daughter. Here’s how Rachael describes her journey.
Lonely and insecure: how porn injures teens girls
“Well, I very much struggled with insecurity. It was around when I started secondary school when I became hooked on pornography. My self esteem was incredibly low. The girls at school never talked about porn use, unlike the boys who were really open about it. So I felt very alone and ashamed. I had a lot of negative emotions.”
4 reasons why Rachael wanted to overcome porn
“A lot of my motivation to stay away from pornography is because I am from a Christian background. I don’t think people realize how difficult it is as a believer to still be watching pornography. I knew that following Christ means leaving all that stuff behind.”
1. Longing for real integrity –
“People think Christians are good all the time. But the truth is very much that we all need a doctor. Part of being a Christian is basically just saying, I admit that I need help. Knowing I should do better was one of my motivations.
My dad was one the pastors of our church, too. As you can imagine, the pressure to do right was enormous.
What also motivated me was the natural feeling of guilt and shame. It’s still a little bit taboo as a girl to be watching porn. So, I felt very alone.”
2. Noticing how people are abused in porn
“Also, my eyes were opened to the way that people are treated in porn. They aren’t treated very nice. People are seen as objects of pleasure. Nobody wants to talk about the abuse – the rape – that happens in the porn industry. Porn abuses people.”
3. Regaining mental clarity
“Porn was robbing me of mental clarity, and it wasn’t allowing me to think properly for myself. I had brain fog.”
4. Desiring to improve her relationships
“I couldn’t look at people innocently. Instead, it was always through the lens of sex and pornography.
It changed the way that I started to speak. I’d get lost in a fantasy world that wasn’t real. It was a horrible mind game that changed my relationships.”
Rachael’s secrets to overcoming porn as a young woman
Tapping into my big reason why
“Although I was very much into pornography, it was something I hated! But, I couldn’t stop doing it. And I was aware of what God says about things like this. Accountability is really pushed in the Bible when you need help. You’re almost like your brother’s keeper. We have to look out for one another.
But It wasn’t enough for me to just tell somebody, Look, I’m struggling with this, though. I really felt like I needed somebody to watch me online, but at first I didn’t want to do that. I remember avoiding accountability for a long, long time, because it was scary.”
Finding the right tools to help
“Through the grapevine, I heard about accountability apps. I had friends that were using accountability apps.There were a couple of options like apps where you keep a streak, but you could still watch porn. I knew that wasn’t going to work for me. Ever Accountable seemed like the best app to me.”
Choosing courageous steps forward in spite of fear
“Actually joining the app made me stop watching porn, because I didn’t want anyone to know what it was that I was watching. This app – what’s great about it – is that these kinds of things (porn use) thrive in dark places. So when you know somebody else is watching, you’re less likely to watch porn.”
Picking the right accountability partner
“Finding accountability was hard.
I had to really, really think about who to trust. I didn’t think it would have been good enough to pick a friend. My friends are incredible, but I didn’t want somebody to give me sympathy.
I wanted someone to hammer down on me if I was looking at something inappropriate, because I did want to stop. I had to think – who would be that loving person, but also be that person who would give me a rebuke if I needed it?
So I picked someone from the leadership in my church.
Thankfully, that’s worked very well.”
How Rachael’s life changed for the better after quitting porn
“It’s absolutely incredible! I haven’t watched any pornography for over two years, something that I felt would never happen. I believe it’s solely because these things thrive in the dark.”
Being motivated to lasting change by accountability
“And when you expose it and bring it into the light, you know somebody’s watching. You don’t want someone to see you’re doing something inappropriate.”
Eliminating brain fog and fantasies due to porn use
“Now the images that used to give me brain fog are starting to fade. I’d be lying to you if I said they’re all completely gone. But I can see them gradually leaving over the years. They’re actually fading away. My old fantasies are leaving, too.”
Seeing people as precious – not objects for lust
“I think that people forget that porn really reprograms your mind.
“Even little things, like being able to see people for who they actually are – that they’re precious.
That’s somebody’s child.
That’s somebody’s son or daughter. People are not just objects for my lust.”
Believing good things about myself, too
Also, I’m really starting to believe the good things that God says about me in the Bible. I’m fearfully and wonderfully made. I’m a princess. I’m a joint heir. My self-esteem has gone up!
It’s really exciting to have mind space to be able to do other things!
Now I think about people and life in a different way, rather than just through the lens of lust.”
What Rachael wants you to know about quitting pornography
“Please think about your future.
That’s something that really motivates me !
I think about pornography and how it affects my future.”
Why YOUR success story overcoming porn matters
“Think about your marriage. So many think they’ll quit porn addiction when they get married.
But pornography will make you think less of your partner, and it will get worse. You won’t be able to see them purely. You’ll see them as an object, and once you’ve used them, you’ll stop caring about them. So really think about the effects porn will have on your life.
- Is it worth having permanent brain fog?
- Is it worth losing friendships and relationships over?
- Is it worth becoming abusive?
Because, yes, the pornography industry is abusive. They see people as objects. And once they don’t want you anymore, they let you go. So I’d say, really think about the damage pornography is doing to your life.
Seriously – consider getting accountability!”
We’re so grateful for this brave young woman’s story of overcoming porn. Thank you, Rachael!
Your story matters, too. Please reach out to us if you’d like to share: yourfriends@everaccountable.com.
