The Highly Effective 21-Day Plan
From broken marriages and damaged families, to lost jobs and strained friendships, it is easy to see that porn is no joke.
Below, you will find so much more than just a download link.
We believe that knowledge is power, and we want to give that power to you. Understanding why you can’t stop looking at porn is just as crucial to recovery as any guide we could create. Before diving straight into the 21-day plan, we want to provide you with information that will give you a solid foundation for your recovery process. Including: up-to-date statistics on porn, research on what porn actually does to your brain, facts about what it takes to form a new habit, and insight on what you can expect from the 21-day plan.
As a bonus, we will give you all the details you need about Ever Accountable. If you are serious about quitting porn, Ever Accountable truly is a must-have addition to the 21-Day Plan.
Just want your copy? Click the button below to get started!
So what is it about porn that makes it so difficult to quit? To understand why we keep turning back to porn, even though we might feel like we shouldn’t, we need to take a small peek into how our brains process pornography.
Our brains today rely on the same systems that have ensured the survival of our species for millenia. The same primitive reward circuits that motivated our prehistoric ancestors to seek food, love, sex, friendship, and novelty are still present in our own brains. These systems function in large part because of dopamine.
Dopamine is a neurotransmitter, a chemical that passes information, which works within the reward system of the brain that is strongly related to motivation and reward. When we perform a behavior or action that causes a surge of dopamine, we feel good. Really good. So good in fact, that we are more likely to repeat those same actions in an effort to trigger that dopamine release. If you thought this sounds a lot like learning, then you are correct.
Our brains use dopamine to reinforce learning through actions and behaviors. Imagine completing a difficult workout at the gym, or spending hours finishing an art project. You take the hard work it took to get there and couple it with the rewarding feeling of accomplishment, due to dopamine release, and you start to train your brain to continue doing those actions. In terms of sexual response, the reward generally comes after the work of emotional, intellectual, and physical intimacy with another person. Pornography activates the same area of the brain as addictive drugs, shortcutting past the hard work of cultivating a relationship, straight to the reward. [22] In fact, aside from amphetamines and cocaine, porn releases just as much dopamine as alcohol, opioids, and nicotine.
Easy rewards and instant gratification may not seem so dangerous on the surface, but over time they can be damaging in countless ways. Think about what happens to kids who habitually skip a healthy dinner in favor of dessert. Taking shortcuts, especially when it comes to physical desires, almost always has negative consequences.
So what exactly causes a dopamine release?
Well, there is some debate and a few misconceptions about this. Many people seem to think that the dopamine comes when someone receives a reward. This could be anything from a decadent bite of chocolate cake to a sexual encounter, to unlocking a new level on a video game. However, research indicates that dopamine doesn’t actually come from the reward itself, but anticipating a reward. The flood of dopamine hits when you see the chocolate cake on the plate, not when you put it in your mouth. Think of the study about classical conditioning with Pavlov’s dogs. In this case, the surge of dopamine would come when the dogs hear the sound associated with the treat, not when they receive the treat.
According to psychologist Susan Weinschenk,[23] dopamine is not what causes people to actually experience pleasure; that falls to the opioid system. “Dopamine causes us to want, desire, seek out, and search,” she writes. In fact, “the dopamine system is stronger than the opioid system.”[24] Because our bodies are getting all these good feelings from dopamine, we are driven to keep on seeking.
This is one of the prime reasons why quitting porn, specifically internet porn, can feel so impossible. As mentioned above, the reward circuit in our brains gets excited about novelty just as much as it does sex. When it comes to internet porn, you are constantly bombarded with more than just sexual arousal, you’re surrounded by unlimited novelty.
A browser can have multiple tabs open at a time, giving you the ability to keep clicking for hours, searching for endless new ways to find pleasure. And as we said before, that searching or seeking is what many believe is flooding excessive amounts of dopamine into your reward system; the same system where addiction happens. Research confirms that the combination of anticipation of a potential sexual reward and novelty amplify one another, which causes an increase in excitement and can start to rewire parts of the brain. [25]
The more the brain changes in response to repeated internet pornography use, the more likely it will become susceptible to addiction. But what exactly is addiction, and what’s the difference between addiction and habit?
For more information on the effects that porn has on your brain, go check out our friends at Your Brain on Porn.[26]
Habit deals with a repeated pattern of behavior based on certain cues. Going back to the study of classical conditioning and Pavlov’s dogs we mentioned earlier, a habit involves a trigger, a behavior, and a reward. This is also known as a “habit loop”. [27]
The trigger for starting a porn “habit loop” could be a number of things and varies widely depending on the person. Some common triggers might include casual exposure to explicit or arousing images, but they could also include things like loneliness, boredom, stress, or feelings of low self-worth.
Of course not all habits are necessarily bad. As human beings, we are naturally drawn to habitual patterns because repetition creates familiarity and comfort. Positive habits can even become tools of survival and recovery. This is one of the main elements of the 21-day plan; utilizing those positive habits. However, unhealthy habitual behaviors could take a dark turn and develop into addictions.
Habits and addictions begin in the same place; with repeated behaviors or actions. The change occurs when our brains become so accustomed to these habits, that they begin to depend on them. Dependence is one of the key factors in distinguishing a habit from an addiction.
Addiction is much more complex than habitual behavior. It can start as a habit that is then reinforced each time we use pornography with the underlying desire to escape emotional turmoil or loneliness. Pleasure-seeking patterns can create neural pathways in the brain connecting the relief of negative emotions such as stress, anxiety, and depression with craving and and impulsive desire. Any behavior that successfully and consistently quiets an unpleasant emotion, trauma, or depression, can develop into an addiction. [28]
Both habit and addiction involve the relationship of cause and effect, but intermittent reinforcement is a common thread among all addictions. Even when the outcome of your behavior starts to be overwhelmingly negative, you continue to come back for more. Addiction makes you feel like you have no control over the impulsive desire to repeatedly engage in porn use. Even if using porn is negatively affecting your relationships, job, or sexual health, you are unable to stop the behavior. [29]
Our goal, and our hope, is that we can help you tackle the habit of porn use, before it spirals into addiction. If you do feel like your porn use has crossed from habit into addiction, there is still hope. The 21-day plan will give you a good framework to get things started, but a serious addiction may need additional help from trained professionals.
Many of us have heard the old saying that it takes 21 days to break a bad habit. This is only part of the process though. Actually breaking a habit that is ingrained in our brains is next to impossible, but what we can do is cultivate new habits to rely on in order to replace the old ones. In reality, it may take anywhere from 18 to 254 days to create a new habit. The factors surrounding the habit, including your source of motivation, what the habit is, etc. are just as important as the new habit itself. However 21 days is a great place to start, and will help lay the foundation for the kinds of permanent changes we want to see. [30]
In order to create a 21-Day Plan that would achieve maximum results, we reached out to life coach and pornography/sex addiction expert Craig Perra to help us. Our goal is more than just avoiding engaging in a bad habit, rather we want to help you become accountable for your bad habit and then get you started on a new path. Craig says that “in order to break a habit you have to make a habit.”[31] Breaking the habit of using porn is possible by forming new, healthy habits and by utilizing mindfulness and connection with other people to build accountability strategies.
The 21-day plan we will outline for you is going to help you say goodbye to porn by jump-starting habits that will completely improve your quality of life.
Many times a bad habit such as pornography use, becomes tied to specific feelings. These feelings of guilt, defensiveness, anger, and shame then go on to affect other areas in our lives outside of porn use. These may include isolation, poor sleep, poor physical and/or mental health, and self-destructive behaviors.
Luckily, cultivating habits which emphasize self-care have a similar effect, but in a more positive direction. Healthy habits like proper nutrition, exercise, hydration, sleep, mindfulness, and accountability can improve your feelings of self-worth, your connection with others, and give you the confidence you need to kick the porn habit for good!
Your 21-day plan gives you all the tools you need to stay organized, focused, and accountable.
Making changes can be often be difficult. It is easy to get distracted when you don’t have a well-organized plan to stick to. We help remove that roadblock by offering you a simple, but effective, plan with easy-to-follow steps.
Tracking your progress is an important way to keep focused on your goals. When you have a visual reminder of where you are in your plan, and you can see how you have taken steps to improve, it makes it easy to stay on track.
We have selected five core areas that, when paired with accountability, can help you reach your goals. Accountability is what really makes your changes stick. Without accountability, you may be able to point yourself in a good direction, but making lasting changes depends on your willingness to connect with someone you trust who can hold you responsible for your actions.
Accountability is the key to your success.
Have you ever noticed how secrets often lose their power once they are brought out into the open. Actions, behaviors, and even feelings that you bury down deep have a tendency to grow and fester while they are kept in the dark. By facing our demons head on and bringing them to light by talking with someone you trust, these demons and secrets begin to shrivel up into something manageable.
Accountability is the term we use to describe taking those buried secrets out into the sunlight and becoming responsible for them with the help of someone you trust. Through the power of accountability, you will see real, proven results.
When you are held accountable for something, it means there is someone else who is invested in your success. Your recovery is important to them as much as it is to you. Accountability is necessary for making changes. Without accountability, it is easy to tell yourself, “Oh, I’ll do it tomorrow” or “My life is fine,” when you know it’s not. Having someone to be there for you might encourage you to push yourself a little harder. You might feel like you have the support you need to create new, healthy habits
Especially in the early stages of pornography recovery, accountability is absolutely necessary. Recovery might feel impossible if you are still caught up in the same mindset. Outside support is needed in order to give you the strength to make the right choices. Without being held accountable, a person in recovery might easily return to their old habits. Yet, accountability bolsters your inner strength and perseverance. [32]
Your 21-Day Plan works based on this one powerful principle. Without it, you would be incapable of improving your life. You have to be accountable, plain and simple. No more blaming or being the victim. We walk you through how it all works in the plan.
Accountability reminds us that mistakes are a defining part of being human. We are all human, we all make mistakes, fall down, crash and burn. Getting back up again is crucial to improving our mental health and quality of life. But often we feel that we can’t share our mistakes with anyone else, so we spiral into shame and despair instead. Ever Accountable helps with this process! We make it straightforward for people to ask for the help they need to get their sense of integrity back.
Another word for “accountable” is “answerable” and this app helps people become answerable for consuming porn. Choosing to stay away from internet porn it is increasingly difficult; it’s right there in your back pocket. It’s in your teen’s backpack. It’s on your home computer. We need one another’s help—we need accountability—to resist.
So what is Ever Accountable, and what exactly does it do?
Ever Accountable is a downloadable app that runs quietly in the background of your web browser or device, monitoring your browsing history. It then compiles the data into a detailed report that is sent to a person you have designated. Ever Accountable does not filter or block your searches. You are still in control of what you choose to view. The difference is, you now have the knowledge that what you do on the internet matters to someone besides yourself. Knowing that you must answer for your actions helps you realize that you are wholly responsible for what you watch.
But does it work? The answer is overwhelmingly yes! In fact, after only 1 month over 89% of our customers report that they completely quit pornography after downloading Ever Accountable on their devices. Our plan has been proven to be more effective than filters, because it puts you in control of forming healthy viewing habits that last!
And on top of all that, with Ever Accountable, you can expect more than just an app. We are here for you through meaningful articles, emails, and guides to keep you on track. Our customer service and support teams care about your success and will respond quickly with questions or comments you have. We will give you everything at our disposal to help you quit porn for good and get back to thriving.
We all dream about making changes to improve our lives. We all have weaknesses that we wish we could correct. The good news is that these kinds of changes are possible. You don’t have to be a certain kind of person to make a change, it is something that is available to everyone! All you need is the right set of tools to get you there. You deserve to have power over a pornography habit and the all the light that comes with that freedom.
Simply fill out the form to receive your 21-day plan and begin breaking free from the chains of pornography use.