Sometimes telling the difference between fantasy and reality is a breeze.
If you see a cartoon princess enlisting the help of woodland animals to clean a house, it’s pretty obviously fantasy. None of us are fooled by dragons, fairies, or a white rabbit in a waistcoat.
However, not all elements of fantasy movies and literature are so black and white.
What about the relationships portrayed in popular movies and other media? Are we as adept at discerning truth from fiction in relationships as we are with magical creatures?
While comparing the types of relationships often seen in classic cartoons and the relationships portrayed in pornography might seems like a bit of a stretch, the similarities may surprise you.
The goal of many classic princess movies is to give the viewer an idealized vision of a perfect romance. The characters are perfectly beautiful and handsome, they have zero flaws, and they all live happily ever after.
Reality is more complicated.
Successful relationships are full of hard work, compromise, forgiveness, and a whole bunch of flaws.
The goal of most pornographic videos is the same as other fantasy relationships. You are presented with a glimpse of a relationship that has no flaws, no hard work, no reality whatsoever. In fact, it’s not even a relationship at all, just a weak simulation of a single aspect of something that should be broad, complex, and beautiful.
So what happens when we come to the realization that our spouses are nothing like the idealized fantasy we have repeatedly viewed?
When it comes to porn, too often we retreat even farther into using pornography to satisfy a desire for a relationship that isn’t real, when the solution truly lies in the complete opposite direction.
While princess movies are relatively harmless, porn certainly is not.
Having a mindset that you have to keep seeking out this imaginary ideal certainly isn’t either.
The solution is found in facing, and embracing, reality. It’s found in being grateful for what you already have.
Embracing the reality that all human beings are flawed. When you come to know someone as well as you do a spouse, you see even more of those little flaws. To buy into the lie that a future spouse (if you’re single) or a different spouse (if you’re married) will not have problems or will finally fulfill you this time is utter garbage.
The grass isn’t greener on the other side, it’s greener where you water it. Don’t be surprised if the grass beneath your feet has dried up and died when you’ve spent all your time watering fantasy land.
If you’re ready to take the next step to embrace what you have and strengthen your relationship with your spouse, Ever Accountable is here to support you and give you the tools you need to make your success a reality.