5 Things You Can Do Today To Kick Porn To the Curb
You can do it. We can help.
WOW!
Thanks for your bravery.
This is a big deal.
Step 1
You’re here! It takes a lot
to make the first step to kick porn to the curb for good.
It’s a life-changing move,
and we’re grateful you’re taking this courageous step with us.
Now let’s cut to the details….
The next steps are for when you are
in the moment...
(and thinking about what you might type in your
search window… )
Step 2
Let’s start with the most basic thing.
Breathe.
(Don’t worry, we’ll tell you how).
Pay attention to your breath.
This will not only help to realign your brain in the moment,
but will help you to reprogram your brain long term.
If you need to change your location to begin breathing intentionally, by all means do it.
If you are at a computer, get up and go in another room, or better yet, outside.
If you are holding your phone.
Put it down and change location.
By intentionally following a breathing pattern you can short circuit the process that connects your first thoughts about porn to the action of actually viewing it.
If you are well-versed in different breathing patterns, feel free to do your favorite.
But for the rest of us,
try what’s called “Box Breathing.”
“Box Breathing” is very simple and helps to calm stress & anxiety.
• Exhale to a count of four.
• Hold your lungs empty for a four-count.
• Inhale to a count of four.
• Hold the air in your lungs for a count of four.
• Exhale and start again.
(If you give it several repetitions, you will begin to feel your body change.)
Okay! Now I’m breathing.
(What’s next?)
Step 3
Envision yourself in the future.
Both 30 minutes from now (not having caved to look at porn) and in the longer-term future.
Imagine the successful version of who you are, who you want to be.
Maybe it’s a (a porn-free) husband / wife, mom / dad, or even successful athlete, artist, or entrepreneur…
Whatever it might be –
This mental visualization of something that hasn’t happened yet is a very powerful hack to begin rewiring your brain.
Don’t forget – every minute, hour, day you spend watching porn is not only wasted time, it’s destructive to you, your well-being and your future.
Let’s set our mind on a life free from it now.
Still breathing?
Envisioning yourself in the future?
(Good. You got this.)
Step 4
Say, See, & Feel
the consequences of your next actions.
When we verbalize and visualize positive things (seeing / saying / feeling),
it is almost as if we are actually doing what we are visualizing.
(We didn’t make the rules. It’s actually brain science – and it works.)
Neuroscience tells us that neurons that fire together wire together.
Say, See, & Feel (continued)
Don’t forget this is a repetitive behavior that we are trying to rewire with a better alternative.
It takes some intentional steps to get started, and then keep going.
And, as our brains become re-wired, we become more capable of overcoming the desire to look at porn.
Not sure where to start?
Read the prompts on the next pages
and notice which ones cause the strongest feelings.
Then remember those and use them as your motivation.
Say, See & Feel (continued)
A. Negative Consequences
Answer for each:
not true | somewhat true | totally true
When I look at porn, I feel depressed and worthless.
When I look at porn, I feel like I have let my family down.
When I look at porn, I feel like my work/school/hobbies suffer.
When I look at porn, I tend to get angry at the world.
Say, See & Feel (continued)
B. Positive Consequences
Answer for each:
not true | somewhat true | totally true
When I avoid looking at porn, I feel happy and elated.
When I avoid looking at porn, I feel more invested in my family relationships.
When I avoid looking at porn,
I tend to have more energy.
When I avoid looking at porn,
I tend to be more optimistic and excited about the world.
We are almost there!
(One last step…)
Step 5
Take a specific action.
(That you’ve planned in advance.)
OK, so now that you have changed your brain with breathing,
envisioned your future self,
and said and felt each consequence of your actions…
It’s time to re-enter your day with a specific, pre-decided action to take.
The catch here is you need to plan this one out before the temptation to watch porn even happens.
And we can help you with that.
Take an Action (continued)
Right now you will decide on a small and positive action to do when you are ready to re-enter your day.
(Brain science hack:)
Therapists who work with those struggling with pornography have shown that clients who have already made choices / plans for their day are less likely to engage in pornography use.
• Play with your pet
• Read scriptures
• Recite the words to a song, scripture passage,
or quote that is meaningful to you
• Count on your fingers five things that you are grateful for. Try to pick something new every time
• Do push ups (or some other of your go-to exercises_.
• Play a musical instrument
Take an Action (continued)
• Visualize the bad thing you’re thinking as a leaf and imagine you’re standing in front of a stream. Place the leaf on the stream and watch it flow away.
• Do a word puzzle (wordle, anyone?)
• Read a book
• Start a load of laundry
• Take a walk in your neighborhood
• Call up your friend or your partner
• Listen to a podcast
How can you remember these 4 steps?
(Just remember B – E – S – T)
These four strategies are the secret to re-wiring your brain and your habits:
1 – Breathe
2 – Envision your future
3 – Say, See, Feel the consequences of your actions
4 – Take an Action you have planned in advance
Look, we get it. Taking these types of actions randomly during the day
may feel awkward at first.
Changing can become uncomfortable, but we need to be okay with being uncomfortable in order to grow.
Nothing worth doing was ever easy (maybe this reminds you of a high school teacher or counselor – but ,wow, were they right on this point!)
No matter what, we are here for you for support and guidance.
Quitting porn for good can be a lonely path.
We totally understand,
and that’s why we think you need someone else in your corner.
(and that’s why we’re here).
In the next few days…
We’ll be following up with a few emails
to check in and provide some more encouragement and insights.
This journey is one nobody really *wants* to take at first.
But everyone who makes it through the first few steps,
and then the next few steps,
feels a freedom and ownership of their life
that has to be experienced to be believed.
We are here for you.
Thanks again for taking these first steps. You can do it.
(psst – and next time you are tempted to look at porn,
don’t forget:
B – E – S – T)
