There are many reasons people look at pornography. The crazy thing is that most of the time, it isn’t about sex. It isn’t about how beautiful, thin or young a spouse or partner is. It’s about the escape that he or she finds by going to this fantasy world. If you are the spouse or partner, this is not your fault! You may need healing and support yourself. If you or anyone you know has been hurt by a loved one’s pornography use, there is help available, like support groups and specialized therapists. We will talk more about additional help in the last segment.
Each time someone looks at pornography, they increasingly need the chemicals it produces in the brain to help them escape life’s challenges. This is why someone may start out viewing it occasionally and end up feeling like they can’t go on without it.
There are four basic levels of pornography viewing.
Inadvertent exposure. Current research shows that almost everyone will be exposed to pornography by the time they are 8 years old. Although it could be a troubling experience, there is no harm if it is not pursued.
Occasional use. They’re intentionally viewing pornography, but not frequently.
Intensive use. They’re repeatedly viewing, and it’s becoming an involuntary habit.
Compulsive use. This is considered an addiction. A person is so dependent on pornography that it takes priority over all else in life.
No matter what level a person is at, pornography thrives in secrecy. Accountability exposes that secrecy. Your friend’s journey to being clean depends on where they’re at now and how much they want to change. Find out next how to define the relationship between you and your friend from an accountability perspective.
This is a 7-part mini-series on how to help your friend stay away from pornography.
Part 1: Why Do People Look at Pornography?
Part 2: Your Role as an Accountability Partner
Part 3: What Should I Do If I Discover That My Friend Looked At Pornography?
Part 4: Justification Sounds Like…
Part 5: What is a Trigger?
Part 6: The Long-Term Change Process
Part 7: In Case You Need More Help